Boys Just Want to Have Fun

Some of us live in smallish communities, and we know it's important to place a priority providing our youth with activities. Kudos to our town for providing a skateboard park for kids ot hang out.

It's when teens are bored, that they become involved in mischief. I never believed in orchestrating every moment in a child's life, but it is important to offer them options to expand their horizons.

Who knows? Maybe one of these hotshots will be an Olympian one day...

A Note to the Teachers

Well, I did the unthinkable. Something I know you've wanted to do, and maybe you've beat me to the punch.

Although my son is a high school junior, I sent an e-mail introducing him to every teacher. I told them, although they probably don't notice, he has Asperger's. I explained that he has a 504 plan, and that he is allowed extra time, and that all assignments need to be presented in writing - not a big deal, but, dear fellow parents, you know how our children slip through the cracks - particularly those who look and SEEM nuerotypical.

Almost every one of them sent me a very supportive response immediatley, and two teachers said they were reading his modifications as they responded (YIPPEE!). All said the first week went smoothly, he was well-mannered and they didn't forsee any problems. Every one of them said they would look out for him, and if he expressed concern or confusion to let them know immediately......

There you have it, gentle readers. My son may not be in the top 5% of the class (although he's pretty high up there and in the National Honor Society), but it is a shame to overlook him because he is not as fast as the others.

Don't forget to advocate for your child. Embrace the labels. The earlier you do, the sooner your child will surpass the limits of that label...

About the Boys

We encourage our sons, Tim and Carter, to participate in activities as well.

Tim, who has Asperger's is in the marching band. Band is a great activity for kids who are musically inclined. Because "Aspy" kids need a little help with social skills, participating in band automatically makes him a part of something larger - it's great for his image. Because the steps to the routines are black and white and very regimented he excells. He lugs a tuba during the routine, so during marching season, he gets a workout.

Carter plays the flute in the band. Although he is home schooled this year, the school district is allowing him to continue in band and take and elective, so he attends the junior high for the last two periods of the day. Carter is really shy, and with the tics brought on by Tourette's Syndrome, any chance to shine is welcome. The band, again, gives him a positive group to belong to. He is also joining Venture Scouts this semester, an arm of the Boy Scouts. The group focuses on paddling, so it gets him outdoors too.

Encourage your child to join something for the fun of it (but, of course, we know they'll be learning valuable skills along the way...)

Take Advantage of Life for Therapy

It's the time of year when everything starts up - dance and music classes, scouts and Taekwondo.

Lucky for us, Caroline (who was born deaf) loves to dance, and so she was enrolled in dance at an early age. Last year, she decided she didn't want to take instruction anymore, but she did agree to help the younger girls' class. She helped keep the four and five year olds in line and made sure they knew their dance steps.

This year, I am making her continue her ballet even though she is not happy. I told her this was for several reasons. First of all, she's talented in dance, and she needs to do something active for exercise. Also, it's great therapy for her and even though she sings in the school choir, dance requires her body to repsond to the music. Also, ballet is hard and requires her concentration. I think it presents opportunities for her to shine, and we who are mothers of special needs kids need to acitvely look for ways that our children can shine.

It is so hard for them to shine at school where the faster, smarter kids sign up for things first and finish assignments first and don't have to ask the teacher for help. It is so hard for our children to expect anything but failure because school isn't set up for them to actually succeed at anything.

I'll tell you about her brothers next time. Unitl then, God bless you and yours, and may this year bring your children rich successes.

School Days

School days, school days, dear old golden rule days...
Yes, it's that time again, gentle reader. My baby birds have flown the coop (except the one I am homeschooling this year), and I hope you are all ready - not to relax or breath a sigh of relief -
P-L-E-A-S-E!!! This is the moment our vigilance begins.

We begin by walking on eggshells and projecting cheery introductions to the teachers we don't know as we help our special needs children acclimate to their new surroundings. If that means we take our children to school the day before classes begin to spend two hours trying the lock on their locker, well, my God, we sit there and encourage them till we're blue in the face because we know the stress they will feel when the day of reckoning arrives.

If we walk through their schedule on that pre-class day, so that they don't get "lost" amidst the multitudes of junior high kids shouting and running and laughing in the hallways when the day of reckoning comes, well, my God, we do it because we know the time investment is an insurance policy. Maybe, if we pay now for our child's tears and apprehensions, the day of reckoning will go more smoothly.

We walk to the cafeteria together and meet the lunch ladies who are opening the kitchen in anticipation of the day of reckoning. They shake our child's hand and show him how to enter his ID number in the little machine. They tell him that he has to make choices between the salad bar and the regular line or the special diet line which is fine to choose even if he isn't on a special diet.

Oh my God, the day of reckoning approaches ... don't ask my child which meal he wants. What he hungers for is acceptance. Just treat him the way you'd want to be treated. You know, the golden rule.

Time to Make a Call (click here)

There's some action in D.C. concerning modifications to the existing Americans with Disabilities Law. The proposed bill will be on the senate floor in September. The modifications bring the ADA intentions more in line with the original coverage guidelines. To find out more check
http://www.accessiblesociety.org/topics/ada/misunderstood.htm
or
http://www.agbell.org/DesktopDefault.aspx

Clicking on the title will take you to a list of senators. Find yours and get involved today!

Let's make this a better world and easier for our children!

Driving King (rhymes with Dancing Queen!)

Well, my 16 year old is driving all by his lonesome! It sure is nice during these every-day-for-two-weeks pre-school band practices. For those of you new to the site, my son has Asperger Syndrome although you would be hard pressed to identify him at this point (now, 10 years ago it was a different story altogether!).

His ability to hyperfocus has proven to be beneficial in his driving skills as he pays attention all the time. He is a rules-follower and doesn't know it's an option to disobey, so, for now, I know he won't turn on the radio or answer his cell phone when he is driving but will wait till he pulls over or reaches his destination.

And the fact that he is driving his own car certainly bolsters his image among his peers.

Just watch out if you're driving around us...