The importance of mentoring

I have three special needs children, and one thing which has made sense to pursue was mentorships. Nothing formal. Just establishing touchstones for my children in the community. People who love them, understand them and wish the best for them (children can SO pick up on vibes). Our church youth group, with the volunteer adults, is a great place for my children to be nurtured. Another is to select adults who hold careers of interest to the child or who carry the same diagnosis as the child.

This is Ed Buckner, weatherman for KTHV in LR. He also suffers from Tourette's and has been a source of inspiration to Carter. His interest in Carter is priceless. However frustrated he gets with himself, he has proof that he is not stupid because Ed has Tourett'es too, and he's not stupid.

Here's to all the wonderful role models and mentors, Big Brothers and Big Sisters out there - hoorah!

It's That Time of Year

It's that time of year here in Arkansas. As soon as the first slightly cool whiff of air blows from the north a large portion of the population heads to the woods and the lakes to stalk all manner of beasts. Hey, it's good fun and a great way to bond with family members.

Although my children and I don't hunt, they do like to fish, and their daddy works to feed his duck hunting obsession.

These girls hunt and are second cousins. They hunt squirrel, deer and turkey with their daddies.

Here's the quntessential Deer Chili recipe if you can get hold of some deer meat! Enjoy!

Deer Chili

2 lbs deer hamburger

1 onion

1 bell pepper

2 -3 cloves garlic

1 can light red kidney beans

1 can tomatoes

1 can tomato sauce

1 - 2 jalapenos

1 - 2 cans water (or beer)

3 - 4 tsp chili powder

salt & pepper

1 pkg chili seasoning mix

Brown deer, onion, garlic and pepper together.

Add remaining ingredients.

Simmer 30 minutes

Everybody needs a Time Out

Now that school is in full swing, I'd like to take a moment to remind everyone about stress overload.

My children get stressed when school starts. it IS exciting, BUT... my daughter is afraid she isn't smart, and the new coursework will be too hard for her. Psshh! Puhlease! My son with Tourett's has such an increase in tics during stressful times that we are homeschooling him this year. My son with Asperger's just does nutty things and acts kind of "jerky" as in not paying attention, zoning out, hitting bumpers.....

Consider this, though, those of you who are parents of special needs children... when my son was in 3rd grade, we found ourselves in a different school district, different state for a year. The school he attended introduced him to a "quiet spot" on his first day of school. The "quiet spot" was located in a corner of the resource room and was sectioned off by bookshelves and had a big, comfy beanbag chair in the middle of the space with quiet toys and night shade (dark sunglasses) in case he needed a dark place. he was told he could go there anytime. You know, he never used that "quiet spot" during that school year, but he would periodically check on it to make sure it was there.

Everybody chill!!!

First Wreck

My 16 yr old son who suffers from Asperger's had an accident today - his first. As he swung his car into a parking slot at the dentist's office, he hit the bumper of a parked van.

There were so many blessings - nobody in van, nobody hurt, on private property, so he didn't have to bear interrogations by the police, and the mother who was very understanding.

STILL, he was very upset for several hours tearing up that first hour, convinced he would get arrested, his dad would take the car away, he would lose his license, etc. A couple of hours later and at home, I glanced out the kichen window and announced, "They're here!" because my 23 yr old son and his girlfriend had arrived for supper. Timmy thought the police had arrived to take him away....

If it weren't so sad, I would laugh. Just when I thought he was doing so good (and he IS!), and I didn't have to worry so, I see how easy it is for him to be blindsided into a confused state.

They are never too old for their mama.

Boys Just Want to Have Fun

Some of us live in smallish communities, and we know it's important to place a priority providing our youth with activities. Kudos to our town for providing a skateboard park for kids ot hang out.

It's when teens are bored, that they become involved in mischief. I never believed in orchestrating every moment in a child's life, but it is important to offer them options to expand their horizons.

Who knows? Maybe one of these hotshots will be an Olympian one day...

A Note to the Teachers

Well, I did the unthinkable. Something I know you've wanted to do, and maybe you've beat me to the punch.

Although my son is a high school junior, I sent an e-mail introducing him to every teacher. I told them, although they probably don't notice, he has Asperger's. I explained that he has a 504 plan, and that he is allowed extra time, and that all assignments need to be presented in writing - not a big deal, but, dear fellow parents, you know how our children slip through the cracks - particularly those who look and SEEM nuerotypical.

Almost every one of them sent me a very supportive response immediatley, and two teachers said they were reading his modifications as they responded (YIPPEE!). All said the first week went smoothly, he was well-mannered and they didn't forsee any problems. Every one of them said they would look out for him, and if he expressed concern or confusion to let them know immediately......

There you have it, gentle readers. My son may not be in the top 5% of the class (although he's pretty high up there and in the National Honor Society), but it is a shame to overlook him because he is not as fast as the others.

Don't forget to advocate for your child. Embrace the labels. The earlier you do, the sooner your child will surpass the limits of that label...

About the Boys

We encourage our sons, Tim and Carter, to participate in activities as well.

Tim, who has Asperger's is in the marching band. Band is a great activity for kids who are musically inclined. Because "Aspy" kids need a little help with social skills, participating in band automatically makes him a part of something larger - it's great for his image. Because the steps to the routines are black and white and very regimented he excells. He lugs a tuba during the routine, so during marching season, he gets a workout.

Carter plays the flute in the band. Although he is home schooled this year, the school district is allowing him to continue in band and take and elective, so he attends the junior high for the last two periods of the day. Carter is really shy, and with the tics brought on by Tourette's Syndrome, any chance to shine is welcome. The band, again, gives him a positive group to belong to. He is also joining Venture Scouts this semester, an arm of the Boy Scouts. The group focuses on paddling, so it gets him outdoors too.

Encourage your child to join something for the fun of it (but, of course, we know they'll be learning valuable skills along the way...)